November 5: Expecting Something Different

Dear November,

Expectations can be a trap. But what about the sweet spot within expectations? You know, where old patterns and habits become blips in your day and suddenly you are experiencing the realest reality that could ever be real…in the best way?

What do I gain when I brace for hard impact? Why do I think I need to prepare to spend time alone in deep reflection in tears to reach appreciation for past hurt and pain, to forgive others…and myself?

What if I didn’t meet those expectations this time?

What if I braced for joy? What if I expected healing through laughs, community, and sweet treats? What if I only sought opportunity to lighten my soul with my reality instead of sink in to the old thoughts that creep into my psyche.

Can I tell you something, November? I no longer have to wonder “what if”.

And yeah, my reality is that good. There is so much beauty in the breakdown, the chaos, the memories of debilitating psychological and emotional abuse from someone who I loved. That is a part of my story, not the whole thing. My energy is focused on sinking into my worth, returning home to myself. I am determined to fill it with whole, healthy, and creative people who love hard.

Why? Because I deserve it.

I expect something different. I expect abundance.

Lacey WilsonComment